Preparing for Your First Therapy Session: Advice for Men
Should I prepare for therapy? | Benefits of preparing for your first therapy session | How to prepare for your first therapy session | Preparing for virtual therapy | Things to know before your first therapy appointment | Getting started with therapy: schedule a free consultation
If you've never been to therapy, or maybe you have, but it's been a while, it's not unusual to feel nervous or to have questions about what to expect. You don't actually have to do anything ahead of time to get something out of your session. Of course, like many things in life, a little preparation can put you in a position to get exponentially more from your experience.
In this article, I'll share some strategies to help you prepare to make the most of your upcoming therapy session.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
While preparing for therapy is not a requirement, it can put you at greater ease and make your first session more comfortable and effective.
A therapist's role is to provide support, guidance, and a safe space for you to explore your thoughts and feelings; they're not there to judge you.
If you decide to prepare for therapy, do it for your own benefit; don't focus on what you think your therapist will want to hear.
Should I prepare for my first therapy session?
While it’s not mandatory for clients to prepare for therapy, some people find doing so worthwhile as it can make your first therapy session smoother, more comfortable, and more effective.
For what it’s worth, therapists do prepare for sessions with clients.
Before a session with a regular client, I prepare by reviewing notes from our previous meeting and thinking about themes we might want to explore further. Since I usually end each session by giving the client an assignment to complete or practice, sessions often begin with a check-in on how that assignment went and address any items that came up.
I typically don’t have much to prepare for consultations with potential clients, so I focus on showing up with an open mind and genuine excitement to meet someone new.
Ultimately, the decision to prepare for therapy is yours. If you choose to prepare for your first or any future therapy sessions, remember it’s for your own benefit—not to meet what you think your therapist expects. The goal is to help yourself, not to satisfy anyone else’s expectations.
Benefits of preparing for your first therapy session
You will probably be less nervous — While it is normal to feel some nerves prior to a first session, spending some time in preparation can ease those feelings. This can allow you to show up in a state of mind that will help you get the most out of the session.
Your first therapy session will likely be more productive — The initial steps involve getting to know each other, and your preparation can streamline this process. Since the first session is often about fact-finding, being ready to share your story helps the therapist gather the information they need to start working towards your goals.
You’ll develop greater self-awareness — Therapy is about gaining insight, and preparing can help with that. The goal is to reach a point where you no longer need therapy. Self-awareness is like climbing a mountain: once you reach the top, there are always higher peaks to scale. The work you do in preparation will support this ongoing journey
You can get practical/logistical tasks out of the way — Taking care of practical tasks, like filling out paperwork or insurance details before your session, can help free up mental space. When those logistical details are out of the way, you can focus more fully on the actual therapy work, making your session more productive and allowing you to be more present in the moment.
How to prepare for your first therapy session
Preparing for your first therapy session doesn’t have to be overwhelming. A little thoughtful preparation can help ease any nerves and set the stage for a more productive and meaningful experience.
Here are some strategies to consider:
1. Acknowledge the significance of this step and give yourself credit
Whatever your reasons for seeking therapy, it’s a decision that isn’t made lightly. Taking the first step toward prioritizing your mental health is a huge achievement, and it’s important to recognize the courage it takes to reach out for support. Give yourself credit for making this courageous move.
2. Understand your reasons for choosing therapy
Think about why you’re seeking therapy. What do you hope to achieve? Are you hoping to address an ongoing issue, or are you primarily seeking help with a specific situation? These are likely the types of questions your therapist will bring up in your first session.
Reflecting on your goals beforehand can help you articulate them more clearly, making it easier for your therapist to understand your needs and tailor their approach to support you.
3. Commit to keeping an open mind
Therapy may be different from what you expect, and that’s okay. Be open to the process, even if it feels unfamiliar or uncomfortable at first.
Remember, your therapist is there to help, not to judge, and embracing the process with an open mind can lead to more meaningful progress. from what you expect. Be open to the process, even if it feels unfamiliar or uncomfortable at first. The therapist is there to help, not to judge.
4. Make a note of any questions or concerns you want to bring up in session
If you’re feeling nervous or uncomfortable, it’s easy to forget important questions. And while that’s not the end of the world, having a list can help ensure you get the answers you need. Writing down your thoughts beforehand can also give you peace of mind and help you feel more prepared going into the session.
5. Manage your expectations
Therapy is a process, and its success depends largely on your participation and consistent effort. There’s nothing wrong with hoping for a specific outcome, but remember that progress takes time. Be patient with yourself and the process, knowing that therapy is about gradual growth, not instant solutions.
Preparing for a virtual therapy session
The advice above is applicable whether you’re preparing for an in-person or virtual therapy session. If you're preparing for a virtual session, here are a few additional tips to consider.
1. Test your technology
Check that your internet connection is stable, your camera and microphone are functioning, and your video platform is ready to go. Logging in a few minutes early allows you to troubleshoot any issues without cutting into your session time. If possible, use headphones for clearer audio and privacy.
2. Dress for comfort
Your therapist isn’t going to analyze your outfit for clues about your psyche, so don’t let that be a factor when deciding what to wear to your session. Consider avoiding loungewear or pajamas, as this may impact how you approach the session mentally. Otherwise, wear something that makes you feel authentic, comfortable and able to focus. While there's no need to be formal, if dressing in a certain way helps you feel more confident and engaged, go for it!
3. Reserve a quiet space
With in-person therapy, a quiet space is provided for you. For virtual sessions, it’s important to prepare a quiet, private area ahead of time. If you’re fortunate to have a designated quiet space, like a home office, great! If that’s not available, just find a spot where you can have privacy and won’t be interrupted. Make sure to let others in your home know ahead of time that you’ll need some quiet and uninterrupted time for your session. This will help you focus and get the most out of your first therapy session.
Other things to know before your first therapy appointment
What happens in therapy stays in therapy — The conversations you have with your therapist are confidential and protected; your therapist cannot share what you discuss with others without your permission.
The very few exceptions to this rule are to ensure your safety and the safety of others. Outside of these situations, what you discuss in therapy remains private.
Your therapist isn’t there to judge you — A therapist's role is to provide support, guidance, and a safe space for you to explore your thoughts and feelings. They are trained to listen without judgment and to help you navigate challenges in a constructive way.
Therapy is a place for understanding and growth, not for criticism or evaluation, so you can feel comfortable being open and honest.
The therapeutic alliance matters – Building a trusting and collaborative relationship with your therapist is essential for meaningful progress. Therapy works best when you feel safe, heard, and understood by your therapist. If you don’t feel that connection, it’s perfectly okay to seek out a different therapist.
Finding the right fit is important, and switching therapists doesn’t mean you’ve failed— it’s about ensuring you have the best possible support for your personal growth.
Real change begins when we take action, and therapy can be a powerful space for personal transformation.
Schedule a commitment-free consultation to find out if virtual therapy could benefit you. →
Therapy is about taking steps toward becoming the best version of yourself. Think of it as one of the many tools in your toolkit. While therapy alone may not solve all of life’s challenges, it can be a catalyst for growth, with your therapist serving as a strategic partner in the changes you want to make.
Real change begins when we take action, and therapy can be a powerful space for personal transformation.
If you've been considering therapy but aren't sure where to start, a free consultation can offer some relief. It's an opportunity to address any questions and explore if therapy is the right fit for you—without any pressure. Whether you're just starting or ready to engage fully, I'm here to support you in pursuing your goals.